Wednesday, May 2, 2018

1865 Blog- William Matthews (Rayne)

Dear Father,
Laced with shame detonated by grief, our army has been defeated. Alas, I bow my head down humiliation as I will be returning home soon. I know you have evacuated Richmond, Father. I heard it from our commander earlier today. I would like to assess the damage done when I return to what may be left of our home. I wonder if our livelihood, the Golden Nugget, is still standing. (The Golden Nugget is my father's hotel.) I will report to Danville afterward. I miss you and Mary (my sister)... Financially, I am sure we are okay, but economically as a government. I feel as though we have collapsed. Do you think the putrid North will abolish slavery? What will that do to our blatant necessity of slaves? In other words, we have come to screeching halt. I was fortunate throughout this sullen war, but there are many things I have to tell you. Our army has been annihilated and destroyed this past battle at Appomattox Courthouse. Nearly a third of our forces surrendered, however, I stayed vigilant until the very end. Our few men left are starving, supplies and food severely scarce. I would say the best mood to capture the feeling rotting within our feeble soldiers is melancholy and sorrow. I do not know what has become of us. While I myself am not hurt, those around me have all fallen ill from numerous conditions. It's like I am walking through a grave site. Do not let Mary read the paper; I cannot stand to let her see our inexcusable failure. I feel as though I have lost all pride being unable to claim victory. Is this what defeat is like, Father? I'm so young, but I feel as though I have aged a thousand years during this war. I will return shortly after the official surrender ceremony on April ninth. Please, carry on as best as you can and let Mary know that I am not wounded.

William Matthews

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